Wanna know how my brain thinks?

Devilish   Angelic

I want to go party! I want to be wild! I want to be a daredevil!! I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE!

What about my parents? They raised me up, they fed me, they gave me roof over my head. Is this how I repay them??

They are so overprotective! They never trust me. They don't let me do anything. It's their fault I am so shy and conservative and naive!

It's the way they think best for me to live. Away from all the bad stuff. Do I want to live without parents? I am lucky to have parents.

I want to make my own choices! I can't live like this forever! I have to go to the outside world soon. Because of them, I'm having trouble adjusting with the people around me! They all seem so grown-up and knowledgeable compared to me! I'm still a baby!

Do I want to get involved in things that I don't know how to handle? What if I get involved in drugs? Sex? What if I meet and befriend the worse type of people?? Where's my sense of responsibility? I cannot just throw it all away for my pleasure's sake.

This is why I am so blur most of the time. This is why I am quiet most if the time.

This is why I look so miserable most of the time. This is why I am depressed most of the time.

 

I have two sides to be. I can pick whichever side I want to.

I have the choice to follow my desires or my rationality.

I used to put my desires aside. For years now.

But I can't do that forever. 

My heart's voices are growing louder and louder by the second.

Someone help me....