Once I'm in, I hold your heart.

Last da....I mean, night, in KK, Sabah.

Well, for the next 4 months I'll not be here.

hahaha.

I'll be back around November or so.

I hope.

I discover another fear that I have. Actually, two fears that I have.

The fear of forgetting something. Which I often encounter. Aissh.

And also the fear of being ridiculed.

hahahaha.

How irrational.

XD

But that's part of why I hate being in the center of attention so much.

One mistake, just one tiny mistake is all it takes for me to lose confidence in myself.

And I've been working so hard to gain back that self-confidence too....

:/

Woke up this morning to rantings of JJ and Ean from Hitz.fm, talking about Pink Day. I think.

And I fell in love with Aerosmith's song, Pink.

Hahahaha!

They said a lot of interesting stuff today. 

And they also this. Which I totally agree with.

Real Men Wears Pink! 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Went to my dreaded medical check-up.

Which, surprisingly isn't so dreadful.

hmm...=.=

Life keeps surprising me.

The nurses were nice. And so was the doctor. 

But then again, it was a private clinic.

Not government hospital.

Maybe that's why?

XD

I was the second in line. So, I didn't have to wait long.

And there were no other patients after me.

So I didn't have to rush.

:)

But for the x-ray, they asked me to go to Sabah Diagnostics Center.

 So....I went. With my mum.

And guess who I saw?

A familiar guy.

Wearing a familiar reddish brown shirt.

With the name, Brendan.

Oh...he was someone I often see at Sunday School, last time.

Before I quit.

KK sure is small, isn't it?

Actually, I didn't even realized he was there until one of the nurse called his name.

I guess he was also getting x-rayed.

Then....after just about 10 seconds, he went out of the x-ray room.

I was kind of shocked.

Hahahaha!

gitu kejap meh dorang x-ray orang?

Then I heard a snort of laughter from one of his friends.

And the friend said, "Napa baju ko terbalik?"

He wore his shirt inside out.

Now, that diagnostics center had only a small space which serves as a lobby, waiting area and the counter.

And there were a few people waiting for their turn at the x-ray as well. Including me.

So...all of us waiting there heard what the guy said.

I smiled, my mum giggled, and even the nurses behind the counter laughed.

But none louder than Brendan's friends, of course.

*when you go for x-ray, they will ask you to take off your clothes. If you are a female, you will be asked to wear a gown. For this x-ray, I didn't have to take off all of my clothes, thank goodness. Just everything on my upper body. Tee hee. I guess that Brendan just put on his shirt without looking after he finished his x-ray.*

I regarded the world as such a sad sight. Until I viewed it in black and white.

I started packing ody.

Actually....I finished packing ody.

Wahahahaha!

For my clothes la.

Tomorrow, I'll do the rest.

But my mum asked me to bring more clothes. 

Adeh, mummy. Adakah masa sa mau pakai semua tu baju?

Paling-paling pun, sa pakai baju kurung ja tiap-tiap hari.

hmm....

But just in case.....

I'll pack some more la.

Macam pindah rumah pula.

Eh..?

Pindah rumah la bha ni!

XD

My dear friends. 

I love you.

I love all and each of you.

I'll keep each and every one of you in my heart.

And I'll keep your characters in my mind.

So that when I am in alien territory,

I will not lose myself.

Last Outing With Friends. And I Mean, LAST.

Oooh! Toy Story 3 was better than I expected!

Ahahahaha!

I didn't even realize the time that flew by.

And no butt cramps!

Which is unusual for me. XD

I'm going to miss all of you~

Especially those left behind here.

T.T

I'll go there. And study my ass off!

And get that Dean-whatever my dad was talking about.

No. No, I better not mention anything.

I don't wanna jinx it.

I better change my attitude as well.

Back to the old days.

Yeah.

You ripped it out.

Almost finished with my preparation.

Almost.

Medical check-up, I hate you. And I'm not looking forward to meet you.

Oh. Well. I'm an empathetic person. I couldn't help feeling sorry for some people.

Especially someone who has bad luck like you.

Yesh, I'm on her side.

But I really think it's his fault, not both of you.

I still hate him. I have no idea how to forgive him. Nor do I want to.

Time together, it's just never quite enough.

When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?

12.46 am.

I really should go to bed. Get my biological clock re-tuned.

After all....my leisurely life is over.

I'm sad, you guys. I'm really sad.

I'm going to leave for a different state next week, where I will stay for the next three years.

Maybe more, I don't know.

I'm the pioneer in my family in this sense. None of them ever went that far to study. NONE.

I don't want to leave.

But I do want to go there.

I do want to experience the life of a uni student.

And live on my own two feet (in a sense).

Uhuhuhuhuhu.

I'm torn.

KONG BHAAA. I'm about to leave already.

Aren't you gonna say good bye to me???

Are you still alive even?!

It's like you vanished from the surface of the earth.

Sepa lagi sa mau complain tentang...?

Hmm...

I can't remember right now. When I remember, I'll write about them.

Muahahahaha!

Rush Hours

A lot to do. 

And so little time to do it. Aiih

Or maybe it's just me procrastinating every chance that I get.

Have to ask the PTPTN infocentre on Friday.

And go to Bank Islam to open an account.

And buy clothes and tracksuits and sneakers (MUM! I told you that my old ones are fine.)

Although, I don't mind buying new undergarments.

Hmm.....what else should I bring to Penang? 

Oh, btw, I'm leaving next week, so Nini, Banana, Lee Wei, and Geral, let's make Saturday a hit.

Wahahahaha.

Fara, Diyana. Nampaknya kita nda dpt berjumpa. :/ Or can you join us on Saturday? XD

Psst! Vivian! Melaka? XD

Who the hell created money anyway?!

We're spending thousands just for a coupla night stays in hotels which are supposedly 'cheap'

We buy petrols that cost RM 5 per litre (exaggeration )

We pick ordinary styled clothes with ordinary looking colours and made from ordinary materials

just because they bore the name "Gucci" ( I know, it's wrong. Do I look like I care?? )

We buy food which costs us 1/10 of the average salary of a day's work

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO??? 

Doom. Here I come.

So......as you can see above.

I didn't get it.

I kinda expected that. They didn't really have any solid reason for choosing me, anyway.

There were lots more people who were more....out-standing. And bloody brilliant.

Hahahhahaha.

But I cannot help feeling just a little bit dissapointed.

I mean.....I WASN'T CHOSEN. 

Wouldn't you feel the same way too?

Ok, maybe it's just me.

=.=

Now, please excuse me as I prepare myself for a hell lot of scolding tonight.

Vivian, if you don't see me online tonight, jangan hairan.

Mungkin sa sdh tidur tu. Dengan pipi yg dibasahi air mata.

GAH.

Waka Waka (This time for Africa!)

Ugggghhhhh......

I hate football.

Well, not exactly hate. But I thoroughly dislike it.

Which goes without saying that I'm gonna have a horrible time during FIFA season.

Oh yeah.

But I do appreciate good music.

And I must admit, I thoroughly enjoy Shakira's song. 'Waka Waka'.

Hahaha. 

And the dance looks sooo easy and fun!

I should get my ass off the chair and dance. 

(No matter how un-coordinated I am. None of you will be seeing me dance anyway. Nyahahahaha! :P)

Did I mention that I gained weight?

Need to shed it off again. And fast, too.

=.=

Interview result coming out next week.

This is it, Linnet.

This result is the end of you life as it is.

And the beginning for the rest of it.

(Actually, everyday is a new beginning, if we think that way. But we often let ourselves be caught with yesterday's problems. And so we failed to see each sunrise as a new beginning. How sad.)

Ba Da Da Da Da Dum

Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

I fixed my laptop!

I fixed ma own laptop!!

Ehehehehe~

Now I can use it to go online again!

YEAAAAAH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6--kTcODn8

Oh, cassey. Thanks for writing about this guy on your blog.

I went and watched this vid of him. 

And I laughed my arse off.

Not exactly la. My ass are still there. And it's as big as ever.

Wakakakaka!

But, yeah. Give the link a click, fellas.

He sure made my day (night, actually. XD)

You're so worried 'bout the maiden though you know she's only waiting on the next best thing.

I see.
I see now.

You'll never let me go.
I see now.


Hahahaha! NO.


I won't let you.
I'll breakaway.

I'll NEVER be like you!!!


psst! teenage angst, people. don't mind me. :P Hmm.....though it's a bit too late to be rebelling, no? Serves me right to have been so naive.

Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything? 

Yeah. I'm sick and tired of trying to live the way you want me to.

Its not that I don't want to.

I tried. I really did.

But you seem to focus more on my failures than my successes.

It really makes me feel worthless to be here.

I know that I failed so many times. More than the times I've made you proud.

For that, I'm sorry.
Not that it matters, you won't ever read this anyway.


Don't expect me to say it to you.
'Cause I probably never will.

I think I inherited it from you yourselves.

The inability to be completely honest with myself.


I'm trying to change though.
Break from this cycle.

And this time, I'm determined to succeed.

I'll decide my future, thanks.

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?

Today is the result for the SPA thing. 

The latihan separa perubatan thing.

Annnnnd.....as expected. I didn't get it.

Seeing my name there beside the 'Harap Maaf' sentence was pretty upsetting.

I mean, what if I don't get the teacher too?

I have to go to Penang, where I know nobody and nobody knows me.

Hmm....you know, that doesn't sound too bad. XD

Brand new beginning. Yalah tuuu~

I will move on. 

I will move on and no one will stop me.

I will stop reminiscing the past

and embrace the present

and hope for the future.

My best days are ahead of me. 

XD

Haiih.

Sometimes, I hate myself.

No, make that most of the time.

Most of the time, I hate myself.

Geh.

I can't seem to be honest to myself.

I guess I am too used to denying things.

=.=

I can't say sorry to you. No matter how hard I try.

I can only write it down here.

Here, where you will never and can never read it.

:(

The missing piece is back!

WELCOME HOOOOOOMEEE

BANANA!!!!!

XD

yalah, i know you're going to form 6.

and you need to catch up with them. since it's been a few weeks since they started school.

So, where are you going? La salle? KK high?

Anyway, I'm just glad you're here. ^^

Looking for new templates. So far, no success. Haiiz. Any suggestions?

BANGAAAAAS~

Aduiiii.

Literally. Saya rasa cam mau bangas!

Dalam rumah jak.

And the construction going on next door is very, very disturbing.

My mum kept saying the workers kept staring at her every time she comes out of the house.

My opinion?

They stare at everybody in the neighbourhood.

Anything to take their mind of work.

Adehs.