It's Gotta Be You

It's been almost a hundred days. And not a day goes by without me thinking the cursed, 'what if, what if' possibility.

The house is not the same anymore. Family reunions are not the same anymore. 

I guess that's what happens when you've lived with someone you entire life, 

then they left without any warning.

There is always that one empty spot. Always.

Let this be untitled.

I really do love you.

That wasn't a lie.

And yes, i do admit. You have to share me with my friends.

I'm sorry if that made you angry.

Finally gave my heart to someone, and this is what happens.

I should change uni.

Go to an all girls uni, perhaps.

Maybe then, I wouldn't be heart-broken so easily.

He said I was beautiful, he said I was pretty.

He said he was madly in love with me.

And in the end he gave up on me, because I put my friends first.

He didn't know, that my closest friend here has made new close friends,

because I was often not around.

He didn't know, that I've stopped chit chatting with someone I know every time I pass them by, because he didn't like it.

He didn't know, that all I can think about is a future with him.

He didn't know how much I want to go to UNIMAS for degree just to be near him.

He didn't know how cold I've become with everyone else, 

because only he could give me the warmth I seek.

He didn't know that I reply his texts late, because I was playing the game that he recommended me to play. 

He didn't know, that the actual reason I stopped, was because I wanted to rest for a second.

Tex-ting someone at that time, feels like a good excuse.

He didn't know. And I'm bad with words.

In the end, this is what happens. 

Maybe I deserve it.

Hell yeah, I deserve it.

What goes around, comes back around.

lately, i've been thinking of those past crushes that i had. 

when i think about it back, that was all it was.

crushes. they crushed my heart.

if they see me now, i wonder what would they think?

 haha. funny world.

well, i know what i think, that's for sure.

for my past crushes:

 

I wanted you bad, I'm so through with that.

Cause honestly, you turned out to be the best thing I never had. -best thing i never had-beyonce-

A bit mischievious

No, I'm not as innocent and as clueless as you think.

Yes, I can be a little more mischievous than you think.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

You will only get disappointed.

I love giving surprises. And getting pleasant surprises. 

Hehehe.

Part of the dialog from Kevjumba's Video, "Dance to this Song".

"Yo, Jason! Where you at?"

"What up man? Just...chillin'"

"You at the club?"

"No, but I wanna be. Have you heard this song?"

"Yeah, it sound like.. like that other song!"

"But it's not, it's this song!"

"Oh. Yeah, let's dance to this song!"

"I think it's about that time."

Magical

I never thought I'll be able to hear it. 

:)

Thank you. I <3 you too.

Untouchable.

Yeah. 

I thought you were untouchable.

Little did I know, we felt the same thing.

It's odd.

Why are there so many coincidences between us?

I wanna go karaoke and sing Fall Out Boy's songs.

Matters of the heart

It's annoying, really.

I shouldn't even be feeling this way. 

Not after what happened.

Not after what I've said. 

But I fell for you anyway.

I feel safe writing this down, because I know you'll never read this. 

I fell for you.

I've left you soooo many hints, and yet you didn't pick up even one of them.

My heart felt broken.

But I know this is what I deserve.

It's my fault.

I shouldn't have fallen for you in the first place.

If only you knew.

No. Maybe it's better if you don't.