Story of my life.

hahaha!

What am I talking about?

Do I even have any stories to tell?

I'm cooped up in the house all week.

My sole entertainer is the internet. Seriously.

I don't even look at TV anymore.

I'm getting more and more addicted to the internet now. How la this?

Oh well. At least I'll start working in Thursday.

I just realized. I'll start working on April's Fool.

Man, I hope those people won't be thinking of fooling me.

Because I might really believe them. hahaha!

What can I say? I'm a gullible sort of person.

haiih.

And I should really stop thinking about that jerk. 

Like, really stop caring.

It's bad for my heart and mind.

I kept on getting all depressed over the fact that he has someone else he considers as his best friend.

It really seemed like all that I did for him last year was......meaningless.

He forgot me so easily.

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

And here I go again, thinking about him.

You find another friend 

and you discard (me)

Everyone knows I'm in 

over my head

Over my head

And suddenly I become part of your past.

I become the part that don't last

I'm losing you

and it's effortless.

Those lyrics perfectly described my feelings.

Except for the part of 'losing you', since I already lost him.

ok, ok, fine!

I'll admit it.

I am jealous.

Jealous over the fact that he prefers her. 

That he prefers to spend time with her than me.

Jealous over the fact that he easily finds another replacement for my friendship.

Because I know I'll be having a hard time finding a replacement for him.

If he can ever be replaced.

What I feel for that jerk is complicated, to say the least.

Owh. And here I go again, talking at great lengths about that jerk.

ARGHH!

I hate myself.

Now that all that is said, I feel like my chest is a lot.....calmer? hahaha.

I feel more at ease now. Not entirely, but still. It's better than it was before.

But another weight has replaced it. aiyah. Should I really post this?

I don't want her to be burdened by this matter anymore.

But at the same time, I don't think I can keep this hidden anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm being selfish, aren't I?

>.<

ugh.

once again, I hate myself.