Heart-wrenching.

I'm sorry. I dragged you into this mess. I'm soo sorry.
If only I didn't tell you about that jerk...
Maybe you wouldn't feel so down yesterday.
I'm so sorry.


I feel down too.
Because I just can't get that jerk out of my mind.
I can't stop thinking about that jerk.
I can't stop hating that jerk.
No matter how hard I try.


So, I've made a few resolutions. I don't know whether I can keep them. But I'll certainly try.
1. Never trust males again.
2. Never assume that males can be trusted.
3. Try to stay away from males.
4. If that is not possible, then think of them as females with no humps.



And the thing that irritates me the most.
I think I still have bits and pieces of feelings for that jerk. I feel sorry for that jerk one moment, and hate that jerk the next.


If only, if only he would disappear from our lives. 
If only I didn't let him into my heart. 
If only....but it's too late now.
I can just move on.
I lost my best guy friend. And I lost myself.




Vivian, ko memang betul. There is something that bothers me. And it bothers me still. I wish this feeling would stop. I want this feeling to go away. I want my old self back.
My cheery self. My patience. My ability to put myself in other people's shoes. I want them back.
Ever since I knew that jerk, I've been totally selfish. Nothing but selfish about my feelings.


If I forgive you,
Would I be able to forget you?










I would love that very much.