I built a wall around me.

Then you came. 

You made a hole in that wall.

You became an important person to me.

I was happy, for a while.

But you left me. You did not stay.

All because of my mistake.

And the loneliness that came after was unbearable.

At first I was really wrecked.

I tried reaching out of the wall, towards you.

But I failed.

I lost you.

Now, I'm alright. 

I realized that there are other people outside that wall, watching, waiting for me.

I realized that I am not alone.

But I do have my regrets.

If only I didn't let you in.

If only I build another wall behind that wall.

Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt.

If only I've stopped you, before you get too near.

Maybe I wouldn't be so dismal.

And that hole is still there.

I tried so very hard to patch it up.

But nothing works.

That hole stays.

I have no idea what you are to me.

I regard you as someone closer to me than a friend. 

More like a family member.

Like my twin.

I began to love you as one before I knew it.

Now that you're not here anymore,

I'm incomplete.

It feels like my other half is missing.

I'm ranting here, because I am too coward to tell you all this face to face.

And because I am way better with words written than spoken.

If only you will read this. But, no. 

Perhaps it is better if you don't.

Let me keep this to myself.

And to everyone who is reading this, just ignore me.

I'm feeling a bit emotional today.

I blame it on my cycle.