To that guy I've been secretly(nah) crushing on.

I've been watching you for quite a while now. Not meaning to be stalking, but you really caught my interest.
As part of the XX chromosome family member, who are in general, have much sharper instinct than the XY, I noticed things about you. How you gained weight and seemed to have lost it in just a few days. How you would turn to my direction every once so often (but then again, it could be just my active brain). I noticed what car you drive, I noticed the way you walked. All those tiny details; I noticed.

It's not entirely my fault, okay? I tried befriending you on various social networks via the digital world; you ignored every single request. How am I supposed to tell you how I feel when I cannot even talk to you? When I don't even know whether you know that I exist?

Our timing is always wrong with each other too. I would be arriving and you were exiting, or I'm turning away when you were looking and vice versa. Maybe that is the world's way of telling me to abandon this ever-growing feeling.

I don't know what to do anymore. You don't come around anymore and I can only see you from afar. I feel like giving up. I'm so depressed about this that I almost wished that I never noticed you.

I feel like yelling, "I GIVE UP".

*this is just a rant from my heart to that guy who calls himself ben. Yes, I'mma write his name, cause its not even his real name, and he won't ever find this post. Why would he, when he doesn't even know my name?*