Raining tears

I'm still hurting.
If it's anything, it's getting more and more painful.
I was never this heartbroken about anything. Ever.

He meant the world to me..
I did everything I could just to see his smile.
And I sulked just to see him running to console me..

But I loved him dearly. So dearly.
Friends say let go. Family say he doesn't deserve me.

But maybe I am the one who doesn't deserve him..
Maybe he was the one trying so hard to love me as I am. And I made it harder for him, instead of easier.
I knew I was lucky. I knew I was never gonna find someone like him again.
I hold on to him, I clung onto him.
But somewhere along the way, he grew tired with me.
And I grew tired of apologizing for being me.

I let him go. Because I promised him so.
And now that he has found another, it hurts. Because my greatest fear is now a reality.
I can be replaced. Just like that.
I was nothing special.
I am replaced.

I still remember his promises.
The way his skin feels against my finger.
The softness of his hair.
His scent. His voice.
I remember all of him.
But he's now in the arms of another.
And all I have is this blog where I pour out everything I want to say without saying it.