THE WORLD....as how I view it.

It's Gotta Be You

2012-01-04T00:44:00.000-08:00

It's been almost a hundred days. And not a day goes by without me thinking the cursed, 'what if, what if' possibility.

The house is not the same anymore. Family reunions are not the same anymore.

I guess that's what happens when you've lived with someone you entire life,

then they left without any warning.

There is always that one empty spot. Always.

Let this be untitled.

2011-12-22T16:23:00.000-08:00

I really do love you.
That wasn't a lie.

And yes, i do admit. You have to share me with my friends.
I'm sorry if that made you angry.

Finally gave my heart to someone, and this is what happens.

I should change uni.

Go to an all girls uni, perhaps.

Maybe then, I wouldn't be heart-broken so easily.

He said I was beautiful, he said I was pretty.

He said he was madly in love with me.

And in the end he gave up on me, because I put my friends first.

He didn't know, that my closest friend here has made new close friends,

because I was often not around.

He didn't know, that I've stopped chit chatting with someone I know every time I pass them by, because he didn't like it.

He didn't know, that all I can think about is a future with him.

He didn't know how much I want to go to UNIMAS for degree just to be near him.

He didn't know how cold I've become with everyone else,

because only he could give me the warmth I seek.

He didn't know that I reply his texts late, because I was playing the game that he recommended me to play.

He didn't know, that the actual reason I stopped, was because I wanted to rest for a second.

Tex-ting someone at that time, feels like a good excuse.

He didn't know. And I'm bad with words.

In the end, this is what happens.

Maybe I deserve it.

Hell yeah, I deserve it.

What goes around, comes back around.

2011-11-17T02:07:00.000-08:00

lately, i've been thinking of those past crushes that i had.

when i think about it back, that was all it was.

crushes. they crushed my heart.

if they see me now, i wonder what would they think?

haha. funny world.

well, i know what i think, that's for sure.

for my past crushes:

I wanted you bad, I'm so through with that.

Cause honestly, you turned out to be the best thing I never had. -best thing i never had-beyonce-

A bit mischievious

2011-09-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not as innocent and as clueless as you think.

Yes, I can be a little more mischievous than you think.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

You will only get disappointed.

I love giving surprises. And getting pleasant surprises.

Hehehe.

Part of the dialog from Kevjumba's Video, "Dance to this Song".

"Yo, Jason! Where you at?"

"What up man? Just...chillin'"

"You at the club?"

"No, but I wanna be. Have you heard this song?"

"Yeah, it sound like.. like that other song!"

"But it's not, it's this song!"

"Oh. Yeah, let's dance to this song!"

"I think it's about that time."

Magical

2011-09-03T18:04:00.001-07:00

I never thought I'll be able to hear it.

Thank you. I <3 you too.

Untouchable.

2011-08-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah.

I thought you were untouchable.

Little did I know, we felt the same thing.

It's odd.

Why are there so many coincidences between us?

I wanna go karaoke and sing Fall Out Boy's songs.

Matters of the heart

2011-08-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

It's annoying, really.

I shouldn't even be feeling this way.

Not after what happened.

Not after what I've said.

But I fell for you anyway.

I feel safe writing this down, because I know you'll never read this.

I fell for you.

I've left you soooo many hints, and yet you didn't pick up even one of them.

My heart felt broken.

But I know this is what I deserve.

It's my fault.

I shouldn't have fallen for you in the first place.

If only you knew.

No. Maybe it's better if you don't.

Pokok

2011-08-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

Tanya sama pokok,

apa sebab goyang?

Jawab angin yang goncang~

Terbang burung terbang

Patah sayap diduga

Seandainya rebah,

Kau masih ada....

-Meet Uncle Hussein ft. Hazama, Pokok-

Want you to know, but don't want you to know.

Want you to care, but that would be just bad.

Want to be together, but I don't think that will work out well.

So what do I do with these feelings?

Over.

2011-08-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

It's over.

And it was me who called it quits.

I can't go on with this.

I remembered what I wanted to do in the first place.

I remember how I wanted to do things.

I remember my promise to myself.

And I am trying to get back on track.

But it is really hard, when you have grown to each other....

They say old habits die hard.

Well....

Feelings fade even harder.

I was enchanted to meet you.

2011-08-02T02:49:00.001-07:00

A song by Taylor Swift.

This song made me think of how I behaved lately...

Kinda stupid of me.

Maybe there really is something really wrong with me.

C.U.T.E.

2011-08-01T03:52:00.000-07:00

People always say that to me.

I wonder why.

And I wonder why not gorgeous, or beautiful, or drop-dead gorgeous. (I said that already, didn't I?)

Oh well.

James Rollins and Dan Brown.

Two of the most brilliant authors I have ever encountered.

I couldn't even begin to describe their styles.

All I know is, reading their books enriches my mind.

I love them both.

New Semester. Not so new beginning.

2011-07-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hey.

Guess what? I'm in my third semester!

Woo Hoo! (sounds familiar? hahaha)

Another 3 semester to go!

But I'm really, really concerned this time.

I have this really complicated subject called Solid Mechanics.

Sudah la saya teruk dalam Maths dan Physics.

This subject is the combination of those two subjects.

Hah. Memang la. (=.=")

.....

I think....no more breaks for me.

I have to reach my goal. It's now or never.

@&^*@$(!!

2011-06-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that I was SUCH an embarrassment to you.
Until you couldn't even look at me when your friends are around.
Yalah. I'm ugly, and so not smart, and I ask dumb questions most of the time. And my answers are dumb too.
And I look bluuuurr all the time. Not to mention my weird fashion sense.
You know what? It's obvious that you don't need people like me as your friends.
So, I'll stay away. I don't need talam dua muka people like you in my life.

Step By Me

2011-06-23T02:51:00.000-07:00

I envy those people who can write brilliantly, express exactly what's on their mind.

I really wish I can do the same. But my vocabulary is just too limited.

......

My mind have gone blank.

Sweet Serendipity

2011-06-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nick of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity
Sweet Serendipity

Ahahaha! I like this song! It got me dancing, yaw!

Nah, more like bouncing only, since I cannot dance.

Ahem.

So, I got a new laptop. Not too expensive. I don't wish to burden my parents much.

Also, I'm planning to get myself a Macbook in the future.

Just something that has graphic card installed, and a lot of space.

SO...I chose an ASUS.

The mousepad is similar to Macbook. Big and square.

Price? ahahaha.

Less than two thousand ringgit.

I WANT A SCHOLARSHIP.

This evening got co-curriculum activity.

MALASNYAAAA.....

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2011-05-25T01:39:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since we went our separate ways.

I'm really, really glad we are still in touch with each other...

I haven't been a good friend, have I?

Every time I went back to Penang, it's like I disappear off radar. Go invisible.

Sorry....:(

I love reading my friends' blog. Have I told you that?

I love you~~~~~

Holiday Mode

2011-05-11T01:41:00.000-07:00

But not for long, sadly.

Oh well. Better than nothing, eh?

Hello blog~ and bloggers. And you annoying links that keep appearing in my chatbox.

I won't be fooled NO MORE.

hahahahaha.

I have so many things to tell.

But not sure where to begin.

And I'm beginning to think too fast to put down things into words.

I keep doing that lately.

Nothing stays put in my mind.

It's like I have a dozen of windows open on my desktop, and every time I close one window, another keeps popping up.

It's annoying.

Not to mention disturbing.

By the way. I WANT A MACBOOK.

hahaha. Is that too much to ask?

I wonder what's the price of Macbooks in Indonesia...

Will it be cheap? or just the same?

(psst! nini, can you check for me?)

I'm also thinking of writing a story.

But not sure whether I enough creativity to do so.

(yes, I do have some creativity. thank you very much for your sarcasm. just wondering whether it is enough for a story)

Based on my past experience, I don't think I can do long stories...

I don't have much patience for that.

Maybe a series of short stories?

Hm....that's a thought.

And they say speak now.

2011-04-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am in the midst of finals. And look at what I'm doing. ONLINE.

What an awesome attitude, yeah?

Well, I'm feeling pretty damn good right now, so shut yer trap.

I pulled an all nighter yesterday to study for a paper.

And I'm glad I did.

The paper turned out easier than I expected.

Well, the objective part, anyway.

Less confusion with the pilihan jawapan.

However, I kinda messed up the essay part, because I didn't read that part of the chapter.

Oh, well. No regrets.

When the music fades.....

2011-02-23T11:12:00.000-08:00

Did you noticed how I often use song lyrics as my post titles?

hahaha.

Some of them are so beautiful bah, so I want to share them.

I finally found someone I can call my favourite author.

He's called, James Rollins.

Out of nine books that he wrote,

(I don't know if he's got any new ones now. I'm pretty outdated with things, as you know)

I read three. And I love them.

I'm looking for more of his books at the university library.

Recently, I read one of his, titled 'Black Order'.

Basically, it's got something to do with Nazis, evolution, and quantum physics.

And he got me thinking about quantum physics.

About how energy and matter has dual-like properties of waves and particles.

About potential energy.

I admit I am still in the dark about this branch of physics.

But I am intrigued.

Because....the book touch a point, that really jolt something awake in me.

How do I put it in words?

If we are made of matter, then that means we also have this dual-like property.

We can be one or the other.

We can choose how we want to be.

And we have limitless potential.

Uhm.....get what I mean?

According to plan?

2011-02-22T16:05:00.000-08:00

I had a site visit last Saturday.

It was for Geology.

And we (my class and I, and the lecturer) went to Gua Tempurung.

Cameras are not allowed since we're gonna wade through waters.

However, those who insist, can bring theirs.

But I left my brand new phone behind.

Don't want it to be soaked in water.

Anyway, we were only allowed to bring torchlight.

The cave was dark.....whoa.
Only yellow pavement-like lights light the insides.
And there were a lot of curious things (shapes) on the walls of the cave.
No, they weren't engraved or carved into the walls.
They were formed by wind and water.

The guide told us. hehehe.

It was beautiful, but at the same time, frightening.
I couldn't help but feel awed. And insignificant. hahaha.

There were shapes of a crocodile head, a cat's face, a seahorse, UFO, and even cupid!

And did you know that I am afraid of heights?
Ya, saya gayat.
Dan gua tu bukan bersambung dgn tanah rata.
It goes on, and on. The bottom is actually flooded.
And the highest peak is so damn high.

I got scared when we were climbing up the stairs. But I was almost hysterical on the way down.

And after that, we had to slide down this almost 90 degree slope.
huhuhuhu.
I was scared out of my wits.
But my classmates are waiting to catch us at the bottom.
So, I trusted them with my life. Kinda.
(so, I'm still alive. And it wasn't high, that slope. only about 9 meters)

And then, the most exciting part of this visit!
We wade through waters.
The water was not saltwater.
And I got soaked. All the way through.

But it was niiiiceeeee.

One's patience is only until.....

2011-02-15T06:19:00.000-08:00

ArGh! Tidak tahan sudah!~

I feel like quitting already.
Everything I do and think seems to be offensive. Or defensive. Or possessive.

My goals lately:

-Study until late morning.
-Sleep for 6 hours a day.
-Finish all assignments.
-Live a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
-Must finish all assignments! Even if that means not enough sleep or eat.
-Study every chance I get.
-No dawdling.
-Relax. All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.
-Be generous with my things.
-NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH MY STUFF! I don't trust yoooouuu~
.....and etc., etc.

Can you see how I contradict my own thoughts??

I'm beginning to fear myself. Like really fear myself.

Shorty hittin' me up.

2011-02-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with Jesse Mccartney.

Ahahahaha.

He look so handsome owh.

Much better than the boyish looks he had before.

Anyway, I don't like Physics. Did I ever tell you that?

No?

Well, I'm telling you now.

And I've always hated Maths.

Always did, and always will.

But, being me, I couldn't bring myself to stop forcing myself to study.

Hahaha. yesh, I know. Sot.

I wanna 'defeat' them oh-so-bad.

I'll get that 4 pointer even if it means killing myself.

With Life, We Never Know

2011-02-04T23:20:00.000-08:00

Setelah sekian lama.

Ifinallychangemyblogskin!!

hehehehehe~

I searched and searched and searched for the perfect blogskin.

Tapi tia jumpa.

Ish.

So, in the end, I tried the new template design blogger has.

Jang! Jang! Sa jumpa.

Yeaaay.

It's the end of the holidays.

huhuhuhu

And very little studying was done by me.

hohohohoho.

I need to change my attitude and quick.

Soon, it'll be the busy season where students are forced to stay up late in order to finish assignments.

And I need that 4 pointer.

So. Wish me the best!

I've got screws drilled into my brain.

2011-01-28T01:44:00.000-08:00

No bah.

Just kidding. I'm well.

Cuma, stress.

It's not even February and I'm already feeling the pressure.

Because I REALLY want to get 4 flat this sem.

I have to catch up. My pointer right now is under average.

I MUST get 4 flat this sem. And for the next 4 semesters ahead too.

By the way, I had had a wonderfully kelam kabut time today.

And thus I begin my story.

I woke up later than I planned(an hour late!).

(I planned to wake up early because I have a test today. And I planned to study for it in the wee hours of the morning. However, that did not work out.)

After that, I went to get my mug, which was on the sink where I left it. And while I was washing it with water, I dropped the mug, causing the handle to shatter. But that was not the worst part.

When I tried to pick up the broken pieces, I accidentally cut my thumb in the process.

Dang.

And so, that caused me to have a late and hurried shower.

Which led me to an even more hectic period of dressing up for class.

Fortunately, I was on time for class. Phew~

But my trouble continue as the day went on.

I still haven't studied for my test. And I have class until 2 pm. The test is at three.

One good thing was that, the last two hours of class was canceled. at the last minute.

So, I managed to study somewhat.

Too bad, I forgot that today was the last day to get that electric stickers from Kolej Zamrud.

Yeap, we have to pay for every electrical items that we own.

And each student is only allowed to have three.

Well, if you're staying inside la. If you're staying in your own rent house, takyahla bayar.

And the office closes at 4.30 pm.

And I also have to tell the dorm administration that I'm staying behind.

All this to do in 30 minutes.

And someone warned me that course validation has to be done by today, which lead me to utter panic.

I have walked back and forth from my dorm to the main building, and to the male's dorm to melapor diri.

In my baju kurung I tell you.

I stink.

Thank goodness the course validation was just a false warning.

Banyak kan my entry this time?

Sa tengah high ni.

Btw, you guys just have to see my dorm. It'll be mouth-gaping(if there is such a word).

Uncharted

2011-01-17T01:20:00.000-08:00

Hai.

Long time no update.

And I'm in trouble since I use this email to enter my lecturer's blog.

Dude, if he suddenly ter-click my blog how?

I will forever be humiliated!

Sudah la saya guna bahasa rojak ni.

Ooops.......

Owh, why do I have to enter into my lecturer's blog, you say?

Because that's how we're supposed to send our assignments to him.

Cool, kan?

So futuristic kind of way to do assignments.

Yeah, we actually post it up on his blog.

No conventional paper used.

Except when we're using the textbook la.

And my class is the only one who are invited to use that blog, so.... ngehehehehe~

Bru-baru ni ada LDK. (Latihan Dalam Kumpulan)

I somehow managed to get through that day without any major embarrassment.

And I'm proud to say that I contributed to some of my group's successes.

YAAAA! ITU DIAAA~

hahaha.

UiTM di hatiku, bah.

Back to life. Back to reality.

2011-01-10T01:18:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah...

I forgot what it's like here in Penang.

So damn hectic.

Classes canceled all of the sudden, lecturer's changing class venues without students knowing,

even my timetable was shifted without my knowledge!

Astaga.....

Teruk.

tension gue.

Music Beyond Borders

2010-12-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

Yeaaahhh!!

I went to the whatever music choir whatever.

It was wonderful.

So much drama.

So many voices.

heh.

Organised by the rock school. You know the one in Likas?

Diadakan di Dewan Canselor, UMS

I still wanna go to UMS. haiih.

Maybe I'll sambung degree there. If can la. hee

The main attraction is the Carmina Slovenia (I think) choir.

Obviosly, from their name, you can guess that they are not from around here.

I think they're from Europe.

(again, you can tell that from the nama)

They sang a lot of songs.

Continuosly, for about an hour.

Ohohoho.

They didn't take any breaks, not even for 5 minutes.

Professionals, biasa laaa

At the beginning, they sang some pretty scary songs.

They thumped with their feet, slap the stage with their hands.

All the while wearing these gowns, veils and masks.

All in white.

Meremang bulu sa.

The songs were scary, but their voices made it even scarier.

It was so beautiful, too beautiful.

Hahhahaha.

And they sang more songs after that.

But...the first few ones got me.

After that, the voices are still beautiful, but somehow it's emptier.

Well, maybe it's just me.

Before them, the Sabah Youth Choir sang some local songs.

And after them it's the Malaysian Operafest Children's Choir!!

Aaaah~

So cutee...

But I didn't get to stay until the end.

Because my dad was beginning to snore.

And my sister has Chemistry paper today.

(it's 2.40 am when i wrote this)

Funny, when the orang putih punya choir sang one of their songs,

I thought I heard something like this;

Gila la, gila la, gilalagilalagilagilagila

Kibabaig, kibabaig, kibabaigkibabaig.

I told my mum.

She laughed pula.

Epic moments with my family

2010-11-28T00:29:00.000-08:00

daddy: cukup ka tu duit daddy hantar setiap bulan?

Me: cukup

Daddy: Jimat-jimat ah. Daddy tidak banyak duit ni.

Me: Ok

Daddy: Kan bagus kalau kerajaan bagi gaji satu kali dua bulan.

*silence*

Me and Sis: Hah?

Daddy: *realises his mistake* eh, dua bulan satu kali.

Me and Sis: (laughing like maniacs at the backseat)

Me: Mummy, mana tu sotong goreng?

Mummy: Di kabun. ( slang Sabah bah ni people.)

Me: ......eh?

Mummy: Eh? Apa kakak tanya tadi?

Sis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ahh....I love my family. xD

If God is a DJ

2010-11-24T10:41:00.000-08:00

Life is a dance floor

Love is the rhythm

You are the music~

Hello, hello, hello!

Long time no update.

Hahahahaha. It is currently the long-awaited semester break.

And I'm backkkk~!

Although, it's a little too late to say that. I got back a week ago...=.=

Everything's changed, and yet its still the same.

Unfamiliar, but still recognisable.

Uhm....what I meant to say is, I am so OUTDATED.

Friends, family news, latest k-pop, japanese animes.

I am missing out on everything.

Goodness. I feel weird.

It's like I've been confined to the soils of Penang. More specifically, UiTM Penang.

I have no idea what's going on outside of that zone.....

=.=

So, how have you been, guys?

I missed you all.

I bet I missed out a lot of fun moments.

And I wish you guys could be there when I was having my moments.

But as an old proverb says;

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

;)

and I hope we don't become like the other proverb which says;

"Out of sight, out of mind"

But in case that happens, there's always facebook! huah huah huah.

Down down down down~

2010-11-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

I just watched G-Force!

O my gosh, they are sooo cute!

And I wanna watch that new movie coming up soon.

What's it called?

Rapunzel something.....

I cannot wait!!

By the way, I might have some surprising news for you guys.

I'll tell you when we go out, kay?

I don't care what people will say.

2010-10-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

I broke my promise.

Sorry. I went online before my papers finished.

Precalculus is just soooo hard.

Need to cool off my fried brain.

Aiihh.....

And I didn't get the SPA.

I'll still be here next semester.

Maybe until I finished my dip this time.

Benci itu sayang.

Jadi sayang itu apa?

Palsu?

hahahahaha

aiiih.....precalculus, if I say I love you, will you be any easier??

Yeah.

I thought so too.

Di mana ada kemahuan, di situ ada jalan....

2010-10-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

First paper on the 25th October 2010.

And the toture ends on the 7th November 2010.

And my flight back home on the 15th of November.

After my exam, I plan on going sight seeing around the island with friends.

And him, maybe.

hahahahaha.

But for now, let me focus on finals, ya?

Won't be online until it ends. I think.

Don't want to distract myself from getting that 3.8 gpa.

I know it looks like very hard to get.

But there's no harm in trying, is there?

Oh, and my spa8 result will come out on the 1st of November.

*cross fingers*

one, two, three.

2010-10-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

Just like that.

I've fallen for someone else.

hahahaha

betul2 lah, saya ni.

Mak aiiih

Study week.

But am I studying?

NOOOOO....

I'm wasting my time as usual.

And next week is finals.

I'm doomed.

I tell you, doomed.

A Wish Is A Dream Your Heart Makes. ehh.....that sounds wrong....

2010-10-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

I rewatched the CF SNSD and 2 PM made for Caribbean Bay.

And then I found myself wishing my body is as beautiful as theirs (SNSD) and I actually have someone as handsome as Taecyeon interested in me.

Then all those past guys would regret for making fun of me.

And started wishing they didn't.

And I could wear all the clothes that I want, because everything fits me, and I fit into everything.

HUAH HUAH HUAH.

omygosh.

I really am losing it.

good girl gone bad. no lah! no change oso. iish.

2010-10-06T01:55:00.000-07:00

ever since I acted as this bitch in my bel class, people keep calling me Amanda (my character's name).

Then I sms-ed my friend, saying;

I'M NOT FUCKING AMANDA!!!

and he just laughed.

what the....???

nasib baik dia kawan saya. Kalau tidak. hmph.

aiyah.

stress la.

I've got three tests to study for this week.

And I've got a stadium that I have to summit next week.

And.......

it'll be finals soon.

I'm not worried about chem or physics or bel.

Seriously, I think I've gotten better at them. waaaaay better.

I'm only worried about my maths.

>.<

And now we have to do the course registration thingy online.

And the wi-fi here kinda sucks.

hahaha. I think I used too many 'and'.

I wanna be in the same class as my friend.

But since there might be clashing of classes.

We had to seperate.....

Sad la.

And I have to choose my class correctly.

I wanna cincai only bah.

Manatau I won't be here.....

Tapi.....

What if I am still here next semester?

Aiyoooo.

Tension.

crappy entry

2010-10-04T01:55:00.000-07:00

I'm updating from the uitm library. huah huah huah.

penyalahgunaan kemudahan.

oh well.

bel 130 starting in.....oh, less than 5 minutes. gotta go.

maybe i should sink my feet into the ground. so that i won't get carried away to the clouds again.

2010-10-02T09:19:00.001-07:00

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Not because of Taio Cruz. Because I don't know what else to do.

2010-10-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

Suddenly so many problems.

haiyah.

I got money problem.

And I got boys problem.

And precalculus is like a foreign language to me.

So's physics.

And I might not be here (UiTMPP) next sem.

I feel kinda sad, thinking about that.

I had to focus on my studies.

But with all these problems swimming in my head, how do you expect me to do that?

I am in misery~

2010-09-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

addicted to Maroon 5's song, Misery.

although, i got a nagging feeling that it's actually....you know?

18sx.

muahahahaha.

all of their songs are, anyway.

My left hand is totally out of my control.

It's shaking so badly, it almost look as if I have Parkinson's.

issh! palis-palis.

And my interview's tomorrow.

I wanna do my very best.

No matter what the consequences will be.

Even if it means that I will not be returning to Penang next semester....

but I love Penang! >.<

Running after you.

2010-09-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Masuk angin.

That's what happened to me.

Gara-gara mau diet.

Konon.

Hahahah.

No bha. No food. Diet was the only option.

And then, jeng jeng.

I got sick. Muntah2 since last Tuesday night.

Luckily Unit Kesihatan in UiTM was still open then.

On Wednesday I got my shot. At the hips. Near my rear.

It's Friday. And I finally feel better enough to get out of bed.

BUT I FEEL AS IF I GOT A REALLY BAD CASE OF HANGOVER. UGH.

Soo....groggy.

Off to bed again?

can't wait till Tuesday.

I'm coming hoooooommeee~

Couldn't ask for more.

2010-09-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

Woke up late this morning.

The whole room punya occupants overslept.

HAHAHA

punya hebat.

So, we couldn't go to St. Anne's

hmm... :/

We went to the church at the pulau instead.

Church of Assumption. I think that's the name...

I was feeling awfully moody due to lack of sleep (I slept late, to top it off, I kept waking up during the night)

And my head was spining.

Sudah la mau naik bas p jeti, lepas tu naik feri p pulau.

lps tu, naik free cat bus lagi di pulau mau p tu church.

haiih.

betul-betul pening owh.

They were lucky I didn't vomit.

Well, after consuming the Bread, I instantly felt better.

And after Mass, saw....err.

My 'abang' and his friends.

hahahahaha.

weee~

But I was feeling kinda resentful towards him oso.

Cause he didn't contact me for weeks ady.

He smiled at me, I think.

But I looked away.

And after that, we (the whole group) went to Pragin Mall to eat brunch.

and I end up sitting beside him.

aiyaya.

Mau tia mau, I had to swallow my pride and smile at him.

Haiih.

Why am I so weak?

Do it, do it, Chu~

2010-09-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

Holiday starts. Today.

Everyone was so busy packing and everything.

They made so much noise while going up and down the lift.

Shouting and screaming Selamat Hari Raya to everyone.

but now the dorm is so empty.

so quiet.

eee.

And I think I like this one guy.

I wonder what it feels like to have his arm around me.

He has such broad shoulders...

hahahaha.

Whoa, Linnet.

Stop.

I read your diary.

2010-08-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

So.

I'm coming home, people!!!

muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~

14 sept to 21 sept.

O-migosh. I cannot wait.

And there's another thing.

From now on, I don't care.

I'll be as selfish as I can be.

I'll be as weird as I can be.

I'll be as Sabahan as I can be.

See la if I give a damn.

Play Girl

2010-08-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am scared of myself.

Hahahahaha.

Never thought I would say this, but I want to go to an all-girls university. =.=

It's just too difficult.

No, no, nonononono.

I must be thankful with everything that I have right now.

I must be thankful.

Yesh.

So much for the high hopes.

2010-08-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

Wo ai ni.
And then tarik balik. What kind of a man is that?!
Tiapa la.
I'll play along. Ngehehehehe~

It's hard to get along when we barely know each other.
Baru sebulan dua jumpa dan berkenalan mah.
Hahahaha
I wish you guys were here.
It's so hard. Being different from others.
Sometimes, it's ok.
But my patience has its limit. Please don't forget that I am human too.
Being different can be tiresome and annoying.
I wish you guys were here. :(

Everything I'm not ready for.

2010-08-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

I blew it.

I totally blew it.

My first Maths Test, I mean.

Aiyah.

I studied, okay.

I don't know why I was so nervous in front of the stupid paper.

Couldn't even remember how to multiply.

Shit.

I wanna cry. Let me retreat to my shell and cry my eyes out.

I've got the magic in me~

2010-08-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

When I think about everyone coming home for Raya, I wanna cry.

I wanna come home too.

But I'm too far from Sabah.

And all of the non-muslims are not going back.

Let's see. How many of us Sem 1 people are non-muslims?

Oh yeahh. Around 25 people.

Out of 4000 intakes.

That doesn't even make 1%

So, my dad said, "it's ok it you wanna stay."

Thus, I'm staying.

I wonder if they have any sales during Raya.

Mesti ada kan?

I MUST go and see.

I seriously have a problem.

Which I need to correct right away!

Omigosh. I am becoming what I've always dreaded.

=3=

Found some good friends here.

But they are quite blunt with words.

So, prepare to be surprised with my changes in the use of profanities.

Although, I will try my best to minimize my usage of it. xD

I don't want to be like everyone else.

Found a good guy friend too.

We like the same things.

We have the same taste.

Too bad, he's of different religion.

So, we had to 'bataskan pergaulan'.

Sad laaa.

As we all know, I'm not good at verbal communication.

Besides, action speaks louder than words.

But here, actions are limited.

Even amongst the same gender.

Bila lagi kita bule hang out?

2010-08-08T20:32:00.001-07:00

My SOLUTION~

2010-08-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

I......am a mess.

Not really.

But still. Kacau betul my mind.

I am not sure of anything anymore.

I could be a playgirl.

I could also be a geek.

But then again, I....

I dunno, I dunno. I DON'T KNOW!

Let me focus on my goal. Please.

I only have short term goal.

I have no idea what is my long term goal.

What should I do? What should I do?

Enjoy all this?

Or take everything seriously?

How do people balance their lives?

Teach me.

I really don't know.

Stress aku.

I am changing. Damn.

Waiting for somebody to tell me it's my turn to decide.

2010-08-02T21:16:00.000-07:00

Homesick.

Not that bad la.

hahaha.

I still enjoy being here amongst friends, lecturers, crushes. Ehem.

No bha.

Heee. OKay. Back to the point. I want to go home.

Nanti cuti raya kamu semua pulang Sabah.

Saya pun tak mau ketinggalan~

Huhuhuhuhu.

You know, cuti raya starts at 10th of september.

But most of my friend (well, okay, all of them) are going back at 3rd of September.

That means twooooo weeks of holiday.

And I'll be stuck here.

It's too late to book a plane ticket now.

And I promised my roomate, Itau, that I'll be staying here for raya.

alaaaaaaaa~

Guess I'll see you guys in November.

Lee Wei!!! When oh you fly to America?

September? NOOOOO.

T.T

On the road.

2010-07-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

I went on a tour around the island today.

Organized by Excel Point Community Church.

So....I went. hee~

Nice la. I bought a bag for RM 10.

I bonded with some of the boys from my semester.

Ezpecially that weird Johen.

hahaha.

Ok, stop mentioning names.

I'll tell you some other time la.

Berat kelopak mata ni, jo.

Goo night.

If I had it my way

2010-07-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Haiihhhh.....

I'm feeling the stress.

I'm feeling the sadness.

I'm feeling the happiness.

I'm feeling the giddiness.

I'm feeling the anticipation.

I'm feeling anxious.

I'm feeling all sorts of things.

Why do I care so much?

Sometimes I wish I have no heart.

It's my 5th week here. 9 more weeks to go before semester break.

And this may be a little too late, but I feel homesick.

I want to go home. Home, Sabah.

Stupid cupid

2010-07-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

Leave me alone already.

Just leave me alone.

I don't want to ever feel this way. Ever again.

Screaming 'HALELLUJAH'~

2010-07-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

Aiyah.
So many activities I want to join. And there's only one me. GAH.

I missed the kursus asas memanah thingy. dang.
I wanted to go bhaaaa.
But when I woke up, it was past the time to meet.

AIIIIISSSSHHH~

And I changed my mind about going for MPP. College mathematics and physics simply overwhelms me.
I don't understand most of the things I was taught.

Maybe next sem. Maybe never.

Campus party at EPCC tomorrow night. And Seminar Fasilitator Muda the whole day. And gotong royong for Kolej Baiduri in the morning. And pemilihan for Hikmah Kembara 2 at Laman Usahawan tomorrow morning as well. Everything I wanna join!!!

But....I am only one person. Unless I have Hermione's magical time machine thingy, I must choose which I want to go tomorrow.....

My first kiss went a little like this~

2010-07-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

Teda kena-mengena tu tajuk aahh.

hahahaha!

Just feeling a bit daredevil tonight.

I'm onlining from the bilik bacaan at my dorm.

And it's...oh. Past 12.

I should go to bed.

I have English(BEL 130) presentation tomorrow.

I don't know what is it about this place.

But ever since I came here, I am braver, more confident and spunkier.

Cewah!

hahahaha!

I don't mind being the center of attention anymore.

But I choose not to, most of the time.

And I'm actually considering going to the MPP (Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar) interview.

They're looking for new recruits.

hehehehehe~

Well, to tell you the truth, I was the center of attention for the first few weeks.

Since I look like Chinese.

And they kept wondering why UiTM suddenly allow Chinese people in.

They thought it's only for Malays.

They forgot about the bumis of Sabah and Sarawak.

And my team-mate for BEL 130. He actually admitted that I am his first friend from Sabah!

Wow....

Are Sabahans really rare here?

Pelik.

Anyway.

I'm gonna try out for MPP.

Wahahahah!

And I'm gonna be as active as I can here.

Guess that means no more procrastination from me.

Aiyah...

*psst! I am slowly forgetting how to speak Sabahan slang. Habis laaaaaa~*

Seindah bunga di Taman....

2010-07-18T04:02:00.001-07:00

Aiiiihhh......

Sa tak suka fizik.

Tak suka. TAK SUKA!

Why did I pick this course again?

Oh yeah....I've ran out of options. Dang!

Aduinaaaa.

I missed Mass the second time this week.

Because I had no one to go with me to Church of Our Lady of Assumption.

All the boys wanted to go to EPCC.

There's one boy. He's older than me, actually. Wahahaha.

His name is Davis.

He wanted to go to Assumption too.

But since the number of people going to EPCC far outnumbered us who wants to go to Assumption, we tagged along. Alaaaaaa.

I was the only girl in the group today. The rest of the girls had activities.

They couldn't join.

Thank goodness most of them are...well, gentlemanly. XD

Or I would have ran.

Masa balik, saya sama van dengan senior-senior.

Yeaaay.

Hahahah. Most of them are Sabahans. Waaaaa!

And they are pretty funny.

I was the only junior in the bus. And they were talking.

And I kept quiet.

And then they ran out of things to say.

The leader suddenly said, "Kamu ni, jahat betul oh, biarkan Linnet sorang-sorang. Becakap la ngan dia."

And we all laughed.

And one senior said, "Halo, nama saya Alex. Saya masi muda."

Hahahahaha!

Aku Adalah Lelaki~

2010-07-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hahahaa! Tidak bha. Saya perempuan laaaa.

I'm currently listening to this song, Naluri Lelaki, by Samsons.
Actually, I've been searching for it for a long, long time. Just found out the title and the singer today. Hehehe.

But I find the lyrics are.....well, true.

To someone I don't want to mention the name.
Sudah sudah la tu.
Dah banyak kali dah saya cakap tidak kan?
Exactly what part of NO don't you understand?!

Kesian ko la. Sayang kredit ko sms sms saya. Saya bukannya balas pun.
Sepa suruh ko begitu meluat?
Please. I barely know you.
I don't think I want to know you.

STOP!

Stop before I start being a bitch. Stop before I treat you like flea.
Please, just stop.
Mau nangis sudah saya terfikirkan ko. Dan usaha-usahamu yang sia-sia itu.

you're embarassing me, you're embarassing you.

2010-07-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

My timetables are a mess.

On Monday and Tuesday, my class starts at 5 o' clock in the evening. Gila kah?

What am I supposed to do during the day?!

On Wednesday my last class will start at 8pm and end at 9pm.

And I didn't go to Mass yesterday. For the first time in my life, I skipped Mass because I choose to. Kinda.

I went to this Baptist church instead. They sang a lot.

And they provide transport for us, university students around Penang.

On my first day here, I thought I would be the only one not wearing a tudung.

Turns out I'm not. Phew~

So.

Orientation week.

Hahaha. Seriously? We cried together, we laughed together, we fooled around together, we also kena teriak together.

Bwahahaha.

The orientation week was called Minggu Destini Siswa.

MDS for short.

We were called MB. Menteri Besar. Wakakaka! No bhaa.

Mahasiswa Baru.

The people who lead us, the seniors were called PM. Pembimbing Mahasiswa.

And most of them are only a year older.

And handsome.

And Muslims. Alaaaaaaa~

Tiapa bha.

Jadi eye candy pun cukup la.

Our YDP (Yang Di-Pertua) Majlis Pelajar-Pelajar. He's soooo. Nevermind. I should stop oggling.

So, during MDS, we danced with the PMs. Gila gila oh. Ada tarian Muhamad Ali.

Ada tarian sotong (don't know the name. But I call it that.)

Hahahaha. Lawak!

There's this guy bha. He broke his leg before the registration day. So he went to MDS using wheelchair.

And later resorted to canes.

He was asked to lead the sotong dance. And he actually did it! WAHAHAHAHA!

With his cane and all. He looked a bit stiff.

But what the heck! We all loved him for his sporting-ness.

Sengsara juga la, those five days. We finished our activities at 1 in the morning and were asked to get ready at 5 am. If the PMs are mad at us, MBs, then we were asked to wake up even earlier. Like 4 o' clock.

So, as a result, we often fell asleep during important talks.

And worse, the PMs would take pictures of those who fell asleep. And make them into a slideshow for all of us to see. It was embarassing.

I'm with the Civil Engineering Faculty. We have our own club. It's called P'CES.

Short for Penang Civil Engineering Students Society.

And I finally rode on a bus. Hehehehe~

And also ferry! Lama tidak naik feri.

Here, this campus is in the middle of an industrial area. So it's quite hot.

Sudah la panas, kami kena suruh pakai baju lengan panjang lagi tu.

Wajib.

Since 99% people here are Muslims.

Even when we walk around Ground Floor of our dorm.

Oh yeah. My dorm is called Kolej Baiduri.

There are 9 floors. I'm on the 5th floor.

Ada lif bha. Jan bimbang. Wakakaka!

I have 3 roomates.

Semua pun gila2.

Saya rasa saya pun akan naik gila.

Eh....tak. Saya memang sudah gila.

Mahasiswa UiTM Pulau Pinang.

2010-07-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

Yesh. That's who I am right now. And who I will be for the next three years.

Orientation week is.....well....memorable. Very memorable.

Hahahaha.

Is this fate or what? I used to live without boys and now I'm surrounded by them. Apa ni??!

Tiapa lah. Study dulu. STUDY< STUDY< STUDY!~!!!!!!!!!!!

Haiih. Nanti la sa update dgn lebih byk detail. Skarang tgh guna laptop roomate. Thanks, Nad. Wakakakaka!

Once I'm in, I hold your heart.

2010-06-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

Last da....I mean, night, in KK, Sabah.

Well, for the next 4 months I'll not be here.

hahaha.

I'll be back around November or so.

I hope.

I discover another fear that I have. Actually, two fears that I have.

The fear of forgetting something. Which I often encounter. Aissh.

And also the fear of being ridiculed.

hahahaha.

How irrational.

But that's part of why I hate being in the center of attention so much.

One mistake, just one tiny mistake is all it takes for me to lose confidence in myself.

And I've been working so hard to gain back that self-confidence too....

Woke up this morning to rantings of JJ and Ean from Hitz.fm, talking about Pink Day. I think.

And I fell in love with Aerosmith's song, Pink.

Hahahaha!

They said a lot of interesting stuff today.

And they also this. Which I totally agree with.

Real Men Wears Pink!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

2010-06-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

Went to my dreaded medical check-up.

Which, surprisingly isn't so dreadful.

hmm...=.=

Life keeps surprising me.

The nurses were nice. And so was the doctor.

But then again, it was a private clinic.

Not government hospital.

Maybe that's why?

I was the second in line. So, I didn't have to wait long.

And there were no other patients after me.

So I didn't have to rush.

But for the x-ray, they asked me to go to Sabah Diagnostics Center.

So....I went. With my mum.

And guess who I saw?

A familiar guy.

Wearing a familiar reddish brown shirt.

With the name, Brendan.

Oh...he was someone I often see at Sunday School, last time.

Before I quit.

KK sure is small, isn't it?

Actually, I didn't even realized he was there until one of the nurse called his name.

I guess he was also getting x-rayed.

Then....after just about 10 seconds, he went out of the x-ray room.

I was kind of shocked.

Hahahaha!

gitu kejap meh dorang x-ray orang?

Then I heard a snort of laughter from one of his friends.

And the friend said, "Napa baju ko terbalik?"

He wore his shirt inside out.

Now, that diagnostics center had only a small space which serves as a lobby, waiting area and the counter.

And there were a few people waiting for their turn at the x-ray as well. Including me.

So...all of us waiting there heard what the guy said.

I smiled, my mum giggled, and even the nurses behind the counter laughed.

But none louder than Brendan's friends, of course.

*when you go for x-ray, they will ask you to take off your clothes. If you are a female, you will be asked to wear a gown. For this x-ray, I didn't have to take off all of my clothes, thank goodness. Just everything on my upper body. Tee hee. I guess that Brendan just put on his shirt without looking after he finished his x-ray.*

I regarded the world as such a sad sight. Until I viewed it in black and white.

2010-06-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

I started packing ody.

Actually....I finished packing ody.

Wahahahaha!

For my clothes la.

Tomorrow, I'll do the rest.

But my mum asked me to bring more clothes.

Adeh, mummy. Adakah masa sa mau pakai semua tu baju?

Paling-paling pun, sa pakai baju kurung ja tiap-tiap hari.

hmm....

But just in case.....

I'll pack some more la.

Macam pindah rumah pula.

Eh..?

Pindah rumah la bha ni!

My dear friends.

I love you.

I love all and each of you.

I'll keep each and every one of you in my heart.

And I'll keep your characters in my mind.

So that when I am in alien territory,

I will not lose myself.

Last Outing With Friends. And I Mean, LAST.

2010-06-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

Oooh! Toy Story 3 was better than I expected!

Ahahahaha!

I didn't even realize the time that flew by.

And no butt cramps!

Which is unusual for me. XD

I'm going to miss all of you~

Especially those left behind here.

T.T

I'll go there. And study my ass off!

And get that Dean-whatever my dad was talking about.

No. No, I better not mention anything.

I don't wanna jinx it.

I better change my attitude as well.

Back to the old days.

Yeah.

You ripped it out.

2010-06-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

Almost finished with my preparation.

Almost.

Medical check-up, I hate you. And I'm not looking forward to meet you.

Oh. Well. I'm an empathetic person. I couldn't help feeling sorry for some people.

Especially someone who has bad luck like you.

Yesh, I'm on her side.

But I really think it's his fault, not both of you.

I still hate him. I have no idea how to forgive him. Nor do I want to.

Time together, it's just never quite enough.

2010-06-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?

12.46 am.

I really should go to bed. Get my biological clock re-tuned.

After all....my leisurely life is over.

I'm sad, you guys. I'm really sad.

I'm going to leave for a different state next week, where I will stay for the next three years.

Maybe more, I don't know.

I'm the pioneer in my family in this sense. None of them ever went that far to study. NONE.

I don't want to leave.

But I do want to go there.

I do want to experience the life of a uni student.

And live on my own two feet (in a sense).

Uhuhuhuhuhu.

I'm torn.

KONG BHAAA. I'm about to leave already.

Aren't you gonna say good bye to me???

Are you still alive even?!

It's like you vanished from the surface of the earth.

Sepa lagi sa mau complain tentang...?

Hmm...

I can't remember right now. When I remember, I'll write about them.

Muahahahaha!

Rush Hours

2010-06-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

A lot to do.

And so little time to do it. Aiih

Or maybe it's just me procrastinating every chance that I get.

Have to ask the PTPTN infocentre on Friday.

And go to Bank Islam to open an account.

And buy clothes and tracksuits and sneakers (MUM! I told you that my old ones are fine.)

Although, I don't mind buying new undergarments.

Hmm.....what else should I bring to Penang?

Oh, btw, I'm leaving next week, so Nini, Banana, Lee Wei, and Geral, let's make Saturday a hit.

Wahahahaha.

Fara, Diyana. Nampaknya kita nda dpt berjumpa. :/ Or can you join us on Saturday? XD

Psst! Vivian! Melaka? XD

Who the hell created money anyway?!

2010-06-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

We're spending thousands just for a coupla night stays in hotels which are supposedly 'cheap'

We buy petrols that cost RM 5 per litre (exaggeration )

We pick ordinary styled clothes with ordinary looking colours and made from ordinary materials

just because they bore the name "Gucci" ( I know, it's wrong. Do I look like I care?? )

We buy food which costs us 1/10 of the average salary of a day's work

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???

Doom. Here I come.

2010-06-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

So......as you can see above.

I didn't get it.

I kinda expected that. They didn't really have any solid reason for choosing me, anyway.

There were lots more people who were more....out-standing. And bloody brilliant.

Hahahhahaha.

But I cannot help feeling just a little bit dissapointed.

I mean.....I WASN'T CHOSEN.

Wouldn't you feel the same way too?

Ok, maybe it's just me.

=.=

Now, please excuse me as I prepare myself for a hell lot of scolding tonight.

Vivian, if you don't see me online tonight, jangan hairan.

Mungkin sa sdh tidur tu. Dengan pipi yg dibasahi air mata.

GAH.

Waka Waka (This time for Africa!)

2010-06-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Ugggghhhhh......

I hate football.

Well, not exactly hate. But I thoroughly dislike it.

Which goes without saying that I'm gonna have a horrible time during FIFA season.

Oh yeah.

But I do appreciate good music.

And I must admit, I thoroughly enjoy Shakira's song. 'Waka Waka'.

Hahaha.

And the dance looks sooo easy and fun!

I should get my ass off the chair and dance.

(No matter how un-coordinated I am. None of you will be seeing me dance anyway. Nyahahahaha! :P)

Did I mention that I gained weight?

Need to shed it off again. And fast, too.

=.=

Interview result coming out next week.

This is it, Linnet.

This result is the end of you life as it is.

And the beginning for the rest of it.

(Actually, everyday is a new beginning, if we think that way. But we often let ourselves be caught with yesterday's problems. And so we failed to see each sunrise as a new beginning. How sad.)

Ba Da Da Da Da Dum

2010-06-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

I fixed my laptop!

I fixed ma own laptop!!

Ehehehehe~

Now I can use it to go online again!

YEAAAAAH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6--kTcODn8

Oh, cassey. Thanks for writing about this guy on your blog.

I went and watched this vid of him.

And I laughed my arse off.

Not exactly la. My ass are still there. And it's as big as ever.

Wakakakaka!

But, yeah. Give the link a click, fellas.

He sure made my day (night, actually. XD)

You're so worried 'bout the maiden though you know she's only waiting on the next best thing.

2010-06-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

I see.
I see now.

You'll never let me go.
I see now.

Hahahaha! NO.

I won't let you.
I'll breakaway.

I'll NEVER be like you!!!

psst! teenage angst, people. don't mind me. :P Hmm.....though it's a bit too late to be rebelling, no? Serves me right to have been so naive.

Who died and made you king of anything?

2010-06-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?

Yeah. I'm sick and tired of trying to live the way you want me to.

Its not that I don't want to.

I tried. I really did.

But you seem to focus more on my failures than my successes.

It really makes me feel worthless to be here.

I know that I failed so many times. More than the times I've made you proud.

For that, I'm sorry.
Not that it matters, you won't ever read this anyway.

Don't expect me to say it to you.
'Cause I probably never will.

I think I inherited it from you yourselves.

The inability to be completely honest with myself.

I'm trying to change though.
Break from this cycle.

And this time, I'm determined to succeed.

I'll decide my future, thanks. 

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?

2010-06-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

Today is the result for the SPA thing.

The latihan separa perubatan thing.

Annnnnd.....as expected. I didn't get it.

Seeing my name there beside the 'Harap Maaf' sentence was pretty upsetting.

I mean, what if I don't get the teacher too?

I have to go to Penang, where I know nobody and nobody knows me.

Hmm....you know, that doesn't sound too bad. XD

Brand new beginning. Yalah tuuu~

2010-06-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

I will move on.

I will move on and no one will stop me.

I will stop reminiscing the past

and embrace the present

and hope for the future.

My best days are ahead of me.

2010-06-05T00:23:00.000-07:00

Haiih.

Sometimes, I hate myself.

No, make that most of the time.

Most of the time, I hate myself.

Geh.

I can't seem to be honest to myself.

I guess I am too used to denying things.

=.=

I can't say sorry to you. No matter how hard I try.

I can only write it down here.

Here, where you will never and can never read it.

The missing piece is back!

2010-06-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

WELCOME HOOOOOOMEEE

BANANA!!!!!

yalah, i know you're going to form 6.

and you need to catch up with them. since it's been a few weeks since they started school.

So, where are you going? La salle? KK high?

Anyway, I'm just glad you're here. ^^

2010-06-04T08:06:00.001-07:00

Looking for new templates. So far, no success. Haiiz. Any suggestions?

BANGAAAAAS~

2010-06-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Aduiiii.

Literally. Saya rasa cam mau bangas!

Dalam rumah jak.

And the construction going on next door is very, very disturbing.

My mum kept saying the workers kept staring at her every time she comes out of the house.

My opinion?

They stare at everybody in the neighbourhood.

Anything to take their mind of work.

Adehs.

2010-05-29T07:35:00.003-07:00

Ini lah. Teda kerja. I replied everybody ody. Sakit jari. Aiih.

2010-05-28T09:00:00.001-07:00

It's precisely 12 a.m.

Goodbye 17. Hello 18.

Vice versa.

2010-05-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

You know when I said you don't know me?

Well, it goes vice versa.

Since I don't know you too.

Aiish, if only you're fluent in English so that I can tell you all this.

Saying all this in Malay is just too awkward for me.

one thing remains unchanged.

Stop trying to make me feel guilty!!

ko sakit apa sebenarnya?

o.O

BIATCH

2010-05-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Ok.

Um...can you, like, stop sending me these sms-es telling me that you miss me

and that you need me

because, frankly, dude.

You don't even know me.

You don't love me.

I only remind you of her (bless the poor soul).

And my answer to you would be what I answered to you earlier.

It ain't changing.

It breaks you heart?

So, you think my heart was never broken before?

Pish. Get a grip.

Be a man.

Move on.

Bitchy? haha. Like I care.

It's my blog.

Let me write what I want to write.

ugh.

Annoying.

NO BHAAA.

I'm not that mean. wakakakakaka.

I'll still say no, though.

There is no way I can be with you.

Sorry. :(

Boogieman Sonnet

2010-05-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

Shall I compare you to a rainy and windy night

You are more cold and menacing

Rough winds shaking and rattling my windowpanes

And branches look like fingers, startling

But you, you make my skin crawl

My hands had never felt so cold before

Everything turned upside down, I fall

And landed bottom first, on the floor

Every night I tremble

Hoping you wouldn't appear before me

When I open my eyes, I prayed, do not snap oh cable

So that eternal darkness will not engulf me

Because I am terrified of you, being so near

Boogieman living under my bed, my greatest fear.

Hahahahah! Remember this, anyone?

It was our homework from Teacher Siska.

We had to write a sonnet, just like Shakespeare's Sonnet 18.

And while everyone else wrote about love, I wrote about this non-existent boogieman who does not live under my bed.

Basically, I just turned the whole sonnet upside down.

Easy.

No need to waste time thinking about love and what rhymes with it.

And whom I was in love with. Because there was none. XD

Well, it doesn't really qualify as a real sonnet, though.

The number of words are inconsistent.

And there are grammar mistakes, if you look at it.

Yesh, this is the original version. The one I send to teacher.

Malas sa mau buat adjustments. I don't wanna ruin it. wakakakak!

Aiih. Brings back memories, doesn't it?

Can you feel this chemistry?

2010-05-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

Haihh.

So, Vivian's at West Malaysia.

And she'll be there for 4 to 5 years.

I told Lysandra about this yesterday.

And she said, "So I'm not gonna see her when I get back? Isn't that crappy."

Typical Pisang. hahahaha.

Come back soon.

I miss you.

I know I said this so many times.

And I'm gonna say it for I dunno how many times more.

wakakakaka.

Someone was so nice to me yesterday.

So nice.

Sampai sa freaked out.

Adeh.

I have no idea how to tell him to stop.

How far do i have to go to get to you?

2010-05-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

Many the Miles-Sara Bareilles

There's too many things that i haven't done yet

Too many sunsets

I haven't seen

You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down

You would've thought by now

I'd have learned something

I made up my mind when i was a young girl

I've been given this one world

I won't worry it away

But now and again i lose sight of the good life

I get stuck in a low light

But then Love comes in

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

But send me the miles and I'll be happy to follow you Love

I do what i can wherever i end up

To keep giving my good love

And spreading it around

Cause i've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes

I've learned how to cry

And i'm better for that

Sing how far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

Send me the miles and i'll be happy to

Follow you Love

Red letter day and i'm in a blue mood

Wishing that blue would just carry me away

I've been talking to God don't know

If it's helping or not

But surely something has got to got to got to give

Cause i can't keep waiting to live

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

But send me the miles and i'll be happy to yeah

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

Been talking to God don't know if it's helping or not

Many the miles

How far do i have to go to get to you

Many the miles

Oh send me the miles and i'll be happy to

Follow you Love

There's too many things i haven't done yet

Too many sunsets i haven't seen

Naaa. Nampak tu?

hahaha.

If I have real wings, I would fly to you.
Atau.....ko belikan sa tiket kapal terbang. And I'd be happy to follow you, love. XD

I know this has to happen. Someday.

Lagipun, sa juga yang mati-mati suruh ko blajar kan?

hahahaha!

Naah. I won't forget you. And nobody in this world can replace you. ^^

Nanti I bring you and the rest of the gang, to that new house in Bandar Sierra.

hahaha. Mau buat sleepover sana?

We can even bring tents, if you have them. And camp nearby. Got place oh. wakakakak.

But for now, we have to separate.

Tiapa lah.

Like the English saying goes.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. XD

Study dulu. Fill our head with knowledge.

And, take care of yourself there ah?

Don't go clubbing unless you got someone that you can trust go with you.

I would have taken care of you. If I'm there. But I'm not gonna be there...

Don't forget to keep in touch.

Do you want me to sms every morning? Like I used to do?

Ahahahaha.

At the time, my credit was more than RM30.

But now, haiyah.

That new number cepat makan duit oh. Need to change the plan.

Listen to that song. Let it remind you of me, ya? XD

Like fara says it, end of crap. :P

I was your silver lining, But now I'm gold.

2010-05-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

You'll go to KL tomorrow~

You'll meet new people.

Make new friends.

Bila la ko akan pulang balik Sabah?

I feel left out. Again.

T.T

I want to wish you all the best.

I want to send you with a smile.

And a hope that someday, we'll be together again. :)

but i'm selfish. and i don't want to wish all that.

i don't want you to go....

not at all.

4 years of friendship.

I don't want it to end!

DON'T GO BHAAAAAAAA.

DON'T GO!!!

WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME?!!!

UHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU~

I'M GONNA CRY MY EYES OUT TONIGHT.

is it too late to kidnap you?

Whoops~

2010-05-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

He asked.

That night.

He asked!

Ahahahahahah!

My dad bhaaaa. He saw me and Vivian walking.

And behind us there was this tall, lanky guy, following.

Wakakakaka

Just kidding ah, you.
No offense meant.

But, yeah. He asked.

Daddy Me

Sepa tu?

*Plays innocent* Sepa apa?

Tu. Tadi yang ikut-ikut kamu.

*Still playing innocent* Mana?

Tadi, di CP. Sepa tu lelaki yang ikut-ikut kamu?

*Eyes open wide in fake realisation* OH! Itu....kawan.

Kawan....sepa?

Kawan la. Si (insert name here) baitu. Yang sa bagitau daddy tu ari.

Hmm....Vivian kenal dia?

KENAL. Vivian pun kenal dia.

And then he dropped the whole matter.

Fuuuuuuhhhh~

Nasib baik kita bertiga saling mengenali, kan?

Wakakakakakakakakakakaka!

So funny. XD

Thank you~

2010-05-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

You cheered me up today.

Glad we had that outing. 

Once again, thank you very much!

When it all comes down....

2010-05-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

Today was....nice?

Ahahaha.

We went to see that new house in Bandar Sierra. Yeap.

It's now officially our house.

And my parents were so psyched about that house, that they forgot about lil' ol' me, who has appointment with her friends at CP.

And they got mad after remembering.

They even asked me to cancel it!

But how can I? I mean, he's there already! Waiting for us to turn up!

Can't they try and understand that I need friends?

I am not my mum.

I am me.

I can be solitary at times.

But I still need my friends.

No matter what.

I need them.

I feel like blaming her. But I know it's not entirely her fault as well.

I'm sure my dad understands. Since he has friends.

But he's so busy trying to make money, that he forgets to reason with me.

After all that.....I feel really deflated.

I feel really bad.

I feel that I am responsible for all their miseries.

I feel so useless.

I feel like trash.

Something only worth throwing away.

But...in the end, they send me to CP. My mother la.

Itupun lepas 1 jam lewat.

And she made me promise that this is the last time I go out with friends.

Next time I want to go out, she can friend me.

I don't have to trouble my friends by asking them out anymore.

She'll bring me.

Well, then.

Will she bring me go bowling or play pool?

Will she bring me to the arcades?

Will she be able to give me the company that I crave from my friends?

I doubt that very much.

But I'll keep my mouth shut.

Since I am still living under their care.

And I still rely on them.

After that....I don't know what will I do.

They are making me hate being here.

I am trying to compromise.

For now, I'll do as they say.

At least, until I can take care of myself.

I've changed. Sooner or later, they have to accept that.

But I'll keep quiet for now.

And when your plans unravel in the sand, what would you wish for? If you had one chance.

2010-05-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

2nd post for today.

Man, I just feel so.....stupid.

And angry.

And sad.

And something like vengeance.

Ugh.

What's wrong with me lately?

I nowadays have very short fuse.

No tendency to compromise.

Little patience for anything and everything.

Gawd. Sometimes I wish I am someone else. Anybody else. Just not me.

I hate feeling this way. But I am feeling this way.

What do I do...?

Intuition.

2010-05-14T22:47:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling.

That tomorrow is NOT gonna be a good day.

Ugh.

Should we postpone it?

Aiyah. But after this, you'll be busy, won't you?

With school and stuff.

Heck, I don't even know if you will read this post.

Oh, whatever.

KPLSPM interview - Wednesday - 12 mAy 2010

2010-05-14T02:04:00.000-07:00

Woke up that fateful Wednesday...groggily.

I didn't get a good night sleep, you see.

Ugh. Woken up by two different alarm clocks in the middle of the night. It's no wonder I got a bit mamai2.

I thought it's gonna be similar to the last interview. But noooo....it had to be different.

Next time, remind me not to expect anything from life anymore.

So, I wore the baju kurung we bought (meaning, my mom and I).

Combed my hair, nicely.

Put on a lil make-up (not much, just some powder and lip-gloss)

Wore the shoes I bought for my convo (but didn't actually managed to wear it at the convo, good thing I bought it anyway).

Ate breakfast, brush teeth, check whether all my certs are in place.

And off~ I go.

To my doom, or so I thought at the time.

I was still a bit blur when I arrived. And bad-tempered.

I got mad at my mum for no reason (really, no reason).

Now, how can a person be clueless and angry at the same time, beats me. But I did it.

Somehow.

I was a bit late for the interview, actually. The candidates were supposed to arrive at 7.30am.

I arrived at 7.45am. Punya cantik my time management.

harharhar.

No matter.

The interview started late anyway (apa punya bakal cikgu ni...)

Before going inside the room for the first part of the interview, we were asked to group our certificates

into the photocopies and the original.

So that it's easier for the interviewers to see.

It took me quite a while to do this, because I already arranged everything nicely inside my folders.

I was feeling something like spite at the time.

Kurang asam, next time, tell us earlier. Like that.

Adeh, since when am I so easily provoked?

haiih~

So, I took my time (kinda) to get out all my certs and arranging them the way they wanted.

And the interviewer looked at me and said, "Cepat sikit eh. Camna mau jadi cikgu ni?"

Alamak.

So, decided to not give a damn, I just took out everything from my file, and gave it to him.

hahaha. Yeah. Real smart move, Linnet.

I forgot to give him my IC and photo.

>.<

After that.....the first part of the interview started. Which is the INSAK thing.

I must say, if you have brains, then you can answer the questions.

It's that easy.

While we were doing the INSAK, someone came.

One of us, it seems.

But she was late.
So she had to wait until the next test. Which is at 11 o' clock.

After the INSAK, we went out of the interview room.

And the girl that was late was outside.

She was very friendly, that girl.
She said hello. And suddenly launched into the story of why she was super late.

Ahaha. After that, we warmed up to each other in no time.

There were five of us.

Farhana, Dayang, Ainneth (I think), Elizabeth (the latecomer) and me.

Yes, we were all girls. Which was a relief. Since after that we had a group interview.

We were given a statement.

Excellent teachers produce excellent students.

We were asked about who our favourite teachers are, and how they helped us in our studies.

We were given three minutes to think and collect ideas. And thirty minutes to talk about it.

Fulamak!

But lively Elizabeth started the discussion for us. ^^
Then.....we actually had fun.
Discussing about the topic in English.
It reminds me of debate team (Mohana especially).

They all have good English. Despite the fact that I am the only one from KK.
I'm so proud of my Sabahan friends.

wakakaka!

XD

So, we talked and talked. And we didn't even realized the 30 minutes are up.
It seemed like only 5 minutes.
Haih, fun things always end faster.

Then, we were asked once more to go outside and wait for the individual interview.
Which is the third and last part of the interview.
We waited for quite a while, since the interviewers (there were two of them)
pergi makan.

We were quite tempted to go along, actually. wakakaka!
But nah. Some of us were too jittery to eat.
So we end up talking some more. But this time, we use both English and BM.

We talked and laughed. And I was thinking, if we are all chosen and we get the same institute to study,
it would be fun to have them as my companions.

Not that I'll forget about my friends here. And in Labuan. And soon-to-be in Sarawak. And everywhere else.

Nah, I won't forget you guys. You changed my life, how can I?

XD

Well, the third part of the interview was not as nerve-wrecking as the other one was.
The interviewers were males. So.....they were generally....calmer.
I hope I didn't say anything bad.
I think I really want this.

But going to Penang is awesome too....
Think of all the food there!
xd

Haiyah.
Dilemma, dilemma.

Lazynesssssssss

2010-05-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

Unemployed

And lazy.

That's me, kids.

Yeap. Wanna update. I got a story to tell.

ehehehe~

But currently feeling like laying down on my bed and enter Dreamland.

So......maybe tomorrow?

bittersweet goodbye.

2010-05-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hmm.....it took me more than a year and Oprah to realize this.

But,

Sms is never enough

Chatting on Facebook/MSN/YM is never enough.

Neither is me telling you here on this crappy blog of mine, or you reading it from this crappy blog of mine.

I want to hear your voice

I want to talk to you face to face

I want to hear you talking to me

I want to laugh together with you

I want to be with you.

Just be beside you.

Suddenly I feel like I want time to stop.

Wish time could rewind, back to when we were all together again.

Miss y'all like crazy.

:')

(feeling a lil' bittersweet right now. this is to all of my friends. tiada yang terkecuali. :D)

O my gosh. I feel so

2010-05-09T20:19:00.000-07:00

empty.

Sabbath Day

2010-05-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

Woke up super early.

By super early, I meant, at 2.30 in the morning.

The first thing(more like who, actually) I remembered was fara.

Sooo.....I went online. Yup..

After texting her to see if she's still up la.

hehehe

I don't wanna go online in vain.

I crept downstairs. Acting like a thieve in my own house.

And ever so quietly, I turned on my daddy's laptop.

Since mine is still broken. (I need to get that fixed a.s.a.p.)

Then, I went on facebook.

Cause this particular laptop doesn't have msn. The only way I can chat with friends is through facebook.

How sad.

Don't ask me about YM. I barely know how to sign in that thing.

Yeah. I chatted with fara. hehehe. Dah lama kita x chat panjang2 kan? Rindu pula sa.

And Mr. Doraemon was online too. Haha.

He too chatted with me.

Saaaaampai pukul 4.30 pagi sa online tadi pagi. No family members behind my back, asking me who I'm chatting with. Ahhhh.....bliss.

I know, I know. It's not healthy. And I'm wasting electricity.

But nowadays, I can barely go online without someone breathing down my neck.

I crave the privacy.

Maybe I should cut down my electricity use during the day. hahaha.

Tak payah guna kipas. Kipas tangan pun cukup la. Saya bersauna dalam rumah. Bule bha tu.

Dan saya tidak tengok tv sudah. So....no problem there.

............

Yup. I think I can live without electricity during the day.

Then, I sleep early at night. Wake up in the wee hours of morning to go online.

Hmm....need to make a timetable.

wakakakaka!

Hey, I'm actually serious about this plan.

Owh. Today's Mother's Day.

My daddy so kedekut, he only bought a rose for my mum. (Oh well, I guess it's the thought that counts)

Haiih, I feel so helpless. I couldn't do anything for my mum.

Ooh! Ooh! I saw that cute little altarboy today! Kyaaaaah~

hehehehe. He made me smile. So cuuuuute~

(He's only about 10 years old? I think. The youngest altarboy I've seen in Stella Maris)

Fast forward.

After Mass, we went to Citymall.

There's a shop there. It's called Polysound.

Lotsa people were there, searching for.....I dunno, korean CDs?

That includes my sister.

My mum and I, we were standing in front of the counter, a few distance away, when something made a loud flop sound.

Something rectangular-ish and flat was lying on the floor in front of the counter.

Nobody seems to realize though. Pelik.

Then I went to pick it up, and guess what?

THE FRONT COVER WAS SHINEE!

Whoa.

There was my pumpkin staring at me on the front cover!

And the thing costs RM 47.50.

What the....

And my sis was saying, "Hey, dia mau ko beli dia bha tu." Smirking. At me.

kurang asam ko, dik....DON'T TAUNT ME!

Aiiissshhhhhhhh.

If only I brought my money with me....

I wouldn't be suffering now.

hmm...I sound so selfish in this post, kan?

2010-05-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

Hmm....I never really thought about how public my blog could be.

ahahahahahha.

Sot kan?

But, thanks for reading, anyway.

I appreciate it.

2010-05-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

I see you comb your hair

And give me that grin

It's making me spin now

Spinning within

Before I melt like snow

I say, 'Hello'

How do you do?

hahahaha! I like this song! Well....the trance version of it.

The original was kinda ok. It's by Roxette.

Cascada's cover of it was ok too.

But I can't stop listening to the trance version.

It really got me in a trance.

Actually, I have no idea what trance is, or even if there IS a trance type of songs out there.

But judging from most of the trance songs I've heard....these must be the type that people use in raves.

Ahahaha.

Malaysian people got raves ka?

Or do we call it clubbing?

O.O

(I'm a Malaysian. And I don't have a clue. Apa punya Malaysian ni...)

Caged Linnet

2010-05-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Cooped up in a cage
I have no idea what is waiting for me out there
I also have no idea whether it is good or bad
Since I rarely leave this cage of mine
It's a bit uncomfortable in here.
Since I kept growing, but the size of the cage stays the same.

Sometimes I feel like I'm about to burst.
Most of the time, my wings were clipped.
Just to fit me inside. Keep me from flying away.

Some random drabble from me. It's in the form of metaphors (I think). So....try to understand, yah?
If you don't understand....well, think of it as a light reading. xD

Good and Bad.

2010-05-05T07:48:00.001-07:00

I had a bizarre day today.

I was looking forward to seeing Fara, D, Grazele, and Vivian.

But Fara cancelled last night.

And D cancelled this morning.

I feel like....ok. Maybe next time, before we all go to separate UiTM campuses.

Then....Grazele cancelled.

Then I felt..... Is it just me....or is this a hint for me to not go out??

But in the end....Vivian is still going.

Takkan la sa kasi biar Vivian sorang-sorang kan? hehehe.

So I went. XD

So, it was just the two of us. 'Dating'. hahaha

And we ate and talked and walked and sat.

Ooh! I bought contact lenses! hihihihi

My parents doesn't know.

And we met Angelica! And Debra! And Ann! And Azielleo (is that how you spell his name?)....

oohhohohohoho.

We also saw Nini's bro. hehehe.

And the handsome guy who is Vivian's brother's friend.

Uhh......what's his name ody? Kyle?

Wow. It's really amazing how many people you can meet in CP in just a few hours.

I think we talked for hours. Well....it's more like I talked, and Vivian listened. And occasionally laughed or say some comments.

Then....it was time to go home.

Fast forward.

I went on FB. Adui.

Puki...maaaaaa.

He got FB.

HE GOT FB!

Omygosh. You.

Stop haunting me. Stop haunting me!

You know how much I cried for you? You know how crushed I was when you told me that?!

NO. YOU. DON'T.

I seriously thought not going to matriks is the best way to avoid you.

But now you got FB?!

And the worst thing is....I can't ignore you!

No matter how much I want to.

I can't!

Kima kau. Pukima.

Yes, I have mood swings. Deal with it.